Emergency: single dad, mother needed Read online

  Holly showered and changed before starting her rounds. Each of the infectious disease doctors had to take turns staffing on the weekends. She didn’t mind, but, having had much of her sleep broken during the night with interruptions from the nurses caring for JT, she had to battle her fatigue with several strong cups of coffee.

  She came through the PICU to check on JT halfway through the day. Gabe was still there and he greeted her with a smile that warmed her heart. She was amazed that he was holding up as well as he was.

  “I’m going to run home after work but then I’ll be back,” she told him.

  “Thanks, Holly. I appreciate it.”

  She honestly didn’t mind. In fact, she finished her rounds on the floors sooner than she’d expected and as there were no new consults called in she was able to leave by three in the afternoon.

  She changed into comfortable clothes, debating what to bring back to the hospital with her. Because if Gabe wanted her to spend the night with him again, she would. Gladly.

  In the end she decided to bring enough clothes for the rest of the weekend. She had to work on Monday too, but by then they might have started weaning JT from his medications. They couldn’t take him out of the coma too quickly, but would need to take their time over several days.

  She didn’t eat dinner, deciding she’d force Gabe to eat with her, knowing he probably wasn’t taking care of himself the way he should. Arriving back at the hospital, she felt self-conscious bringing an overnight bag into the PICU.

  Entering JT’s room, she halted when she realized Gabe wasn’t alone.

  Tom was standing there, gazing down at JT. She frowned, trying to figure out why her ex-husband was there. Had Gabe called him, seeking support from his former best friend?

  “Holly.” Gabe’s expression was pained when he saw her standing there. “Come in. Ah—you know Tom of course.”

  Of course. What she didn’t know was what Tom was doing there. Something was wrong, she could feel it in the somber atmosphere in the room. Her stomach twisted painfully. Had JT taken a turn for the worse? “Hi, Tom. Gabe, is something wrong?”

  “No, nothing is wrong.” Gabe’s expression held a note of uncertainty. “I guess I should explain. Holly, you need to know I called Tom because I felt he deserved to be here, to see JT for himself.”

  She didn’t understand. “Deserved to be here?”

  “Yes.” Gabe’s gaze was apologetic. “I hate having to tell you like this but DNA results have confirmed Tom is JT’s biological father.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  HOLLY stared at Gabe in horror. Tom? JT’s father? From somewhere beside her she heard a nurse gasp, and when she realized they had an audience, her face flamed red with acute embarrassment.

  Why did things like this always happen to her when other people were around to witness her humiliation?

  Gabe’s words ricocheted through her mind, over and over, like a bad dream. Tom Richards was JT’s biological father. JT was five years old. Her ex-husband must have had an affair with Claire.

  Before their wedding.

  She took one step back. Then another. Gabe moved toward her but she held up a hand, warding him off. “Don’t.”

  He halted, his gaze full of compassion. A part of her wanted to go to him for comfort yet at the same time she couldn’t get past the fact he’d lied to her. Or at the very least withheld the truth from her.

  Had Gabe known about the affair even back then? Had he known about Tom and Claire but had chosen not to say anything to her? Why? For what purpose? To protect Tom?

  Even back then she’d thought Gabe had been her friend too, not just Tom’s.

  Gabe had walked out on the wedding. All these years she’d assumed it had been because of her attempt to kiss him, crossing the line of friendship. But maybe it was really because he’d found out about the affair.

  And he hadn’t told her.

  Unable to tolerate being there a moment longer, she spun on her heel and bolted from the room, nearly barreling into the surprised nurse who stood in the doorway.

  Blindly she made her way through the hospital to the parking structure. She found her car, belatedly realizing she’d left her overnight case in JT’s room. She climbed into the driver’s seat, blinking away her tears.

  Gabe had lied to her. She couldn’t get past the pain of knowing that she’d given him her trust but he’d still lied to her.

  Just like Tom had lied to her.

  Only Gabe’s betrayal was worse. Much worse.

  Because even in this short period of time she’d come to depend on Gabe to keep his word. Tom had often said things but had never followed through on them. But Gabe was different. Or so she’d thought.

  She loved JT like a son. And now she had to accept the fact that her ex-husband was JT’s biological father. Every time she looked at JT, she’d be reminded about Tom’s infidelity.

  Infidelity that had begun before the wedding. Infidelity that had lasted throughout their short marriage.

  Her stomach lurched and she swallowed hard, fighting nausea, leaning forward to rest her head on the steering wheel. She didn’t care about Tom, not anymore, but obviously she didn’t have the relationship she’d thought she had with Gabe.

  She’d fallen in love with Gabe. With JT.

  But Gabe had lied to her.

  How could she ever trust him again?

  Gabe swore inwardly, as Holly ran from the PICU. Damn, he’d handled that badly. Yet logically he knew he couldn’t change the facts.

  Tom was JT’s father.

  And he still planned to adopt JT. But he couldn’t blame Holly for being upset and angry. How could she have a relationship with him, knowing that if their relationship progressed to something serious, it was possible she’d help raise her ex-husband’s bastard son?

  He scrubbed his hands over his face, feeling as if he stood on the edge of a cliff, the ground crumbling beneath his feet.

  He needed to step back, to get grounded and focus on what was important.

  He may have lost Holly but JT needed him. There was a chance the young boy might not make it. The five-year-old was lying in an ICU bed, his body functioning only with the help of machines. So far, Gabe had held on to hope but until the team of doctors, including Holly, brought JT out of his coma, they wouldn’t know if their experimental treatment had worked.

  JT could end up with severe brain damage. The little boy he had been might cease to exist.

  “Gabe, you know I’ll sign the paperwork,” Tom said from beside him.

  It took him a moment to realize what Tom was talking about. The adoption paperwork they’d been discussing before Holly had walked in. Tom was willing to sign over his custodial rights, enabling Gabe to move forward with the adoption.

  This was what he’d planed from the moment he’d learned Claire had died. Until the doubts had started to creep in.

  But now he knew he’d do anything for JT. No matter what. He forced himself to nod. “Thanks. I already love JT like a son and he loves me. We’re a good team.”

  They would be a better team with Holly.

  He shied away from the painful thought.

  Tom shifted to glance back at his son. “You’re a better man than I am, Gabe. I don’t think I could take care of him like you are. Kids really have a way of tying you down, you know?”

  Tom was an idiot. Loving someone didn’t tie you down. Love set you free. Love made you happy. But agreeing with Tom seemed rude. Although it was true. Gabe was a better man than he was.

  “I’m sorry about Holly,” Tom added.

  Sorry for what? For cheating on her? For abandoning her when she’d needed him most? Gabe reined in his temper with an effort. “Holly deserves better, just like JT does.”

  “And that means you?” Tom asked, skepticism lacing his tone.

  “Yes. Because I love her. A man who cheats on his wife while she’s having a miscarriage doesn’t know the meaning of the word.”

  Tom’s eyebrows
shot up. “So, she told you what happened, huh?” Tom shrugged. “I didn’t mean to hurt her. I loved Holly in my own way. I don’t know why I ended up seeing other women. I know you won’t believe this but I really tried to be faithful. I actually almost told her the truth the night she told me she was pregnant. She was so happy I decided to keep my mouth shut. And then she miscarried.”

  Gabe’s fingers curled into fists. Tom was right, he didn’t really believe him. But, either way, it didn’t matter. There was no justification for infidelity so he didn’t bother to try to think of one. “Just sign the paperwork, will you? That’s all I’m asking. I only called because I thought you’d want a chance to see your son.” Before he died.

  No, JT wasn’t going to die. Not if he could help it.

  “Sure. I’ll sign.” Tom took the legal document and signed the bottom by the X before handing it back to Gabe. Staring at Tom’s signature, Gabe wondered if JT’s illness had contributed to Tom’s willingness to let him go. “I honestly hope JT makes it through this. No kid deserves to be this sick.”

  “He will,” Gabe said with conviction.

  “And good luck with Holly.”

  He didn’t have a response to that. Because he’d seen the wounded devastation in her eyes. Luck alone wasn’t going to help. He wasn’t sure anything would.

  After Tom had left, Gabe sat beside JT’s bedside, cradling the child’s hand in his.

  Very soon it would be official. He’d become a father and JT would belong to him.

  His chest tightened and he bowed his head. If only he hadn’t lost Holly in the process.

  The next morning Gabe waited for Holly to make rounds. She was too good a doctor to ignore one of her patients.

  And JT was still her patient.

  Her small overnight case was still sitting where she’d dropped it after discovering the shocking news that Tom was JT’s biological father.

  Gabe stared down at JT’s small peaceful face, the breathing tube still in his lungs to allow the ventilator to do the work of breathing for him.

  Waiting like this, not knowing if JT would survive, was so hard.

  He already felt like a father. And loving someone, when you were helpless to fix them, was the most difficult thing to endure.

  Holly came through at ten-thirty in the morning. Beneath her white lab coat she wore all black. A black turtleneck sweater tucked into trim black pants. Gabe couldn’t help but wonder if she was wearing black for a reason, like mourning the end of a relationship that had barely begun.

  Her face was pale and dark smudges underscored her brown eyes. Despite her obvious exhaustion, she still looked beautiful to him. He wanted to go to her but forced himself to stay where he was next to JT’s bed.

  She glanced at the clipboard in her hands. All the medical and nursing documentation was done in the bedside computer system, but Holly must have taken some notes. “We’re planning to start tapering off his medications tomorrow morning.”

  Gabe nodded, understanding that it might take a while for JT to come out of the medication-induced coma. “Holly, I’m sorry you had to find out about Tom like that.”

  She avoided his gaze, lifting a shoulder in a helpless shrug. “No worse than watching him come out of his naked lover’s call room.”

  He grimaced and jammed his fingers through his hair. “No, I guess not.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’ve been over Tom for a long time.” Holly’s tone was casual, as if she had more important things to worry about.

  He doubted anyone could truly be over something like that, but if what she said was true, why was she acting so distant? So upset?

  “Will you come back tonight, after your shift? We could go down to the cafeteria for dinner and talk.” JT’s condition had been relatively stable but Gabe was loath to leave the hospital just yet. He’d only gone home a couple of times to shower and change his clothes.

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  The knot deep in his belly tightened. “Why not?”

  She let out a small sigh and finally brought her gaze to his. “Gabe, nothing changes the fact you lied to me.”

  “I didn’t lie to you, Holly. I swear I didn’t know who JT’s biological father was until Friday.” When he saw the skepticism in her eyes, he added, “You can see from his chart that JT’s full name is John Tomas. Claire called him JT almost from the moment he was born. I found her personal journal after she died. She’d been intimate with two men, John Olsinksi and Tom. She didn’t know which man had fathered JT so she christened him with both their names. I contacted both men, asking for DNA paternity tests.”

  “Why?”

  He tried to make her understand. “Because the adoption agency asked if I knew who his biological father was and I explained it was likely to be one of the two men my sister had mentioned in her diary. The adoption agency suggested I get DNA samples to know for sure so that neither one of them could come back later with a parental claim once I adopted him.”

  “I see.” Holly nodded slowly. “But I’m sure you must have known, even back then, that Tom was unfaithful.”

  “I suspected,” he admitted slowly. “I didn’t have proof, had never seen him so much as kiss another woman with my own eyes, but I suspected. The way he openly flirted with women, well, it just wasn’t right.”

  Holly didn’t respond.

  “I’m sorry you were hurt, Holly. If I had known the truth I would have told you. Maybe I should have said something sooner, even without proof. Yet I have to be honest with you. At first I doubted my ability to do this, to be a parent to JT. But now I’m glad JT’s father turned out to be a man willing to give up his rights to him.” He didn’t explain that John Olsinski had mentioned possibly taking custody of JT, if it turned out he was the father.

  Now that Tom had signed, there was nothing standing in his way.

  “I’m glad JT is going to be your son, Gabe,” Holly said finally. “He needs a father like you.”

  “He needs more than just me,” Gabe countered. This had been his worst fear, losing Holly once he knew for sure Tom was JT’s father. Fighting to keep his voice steady, he said, “He needs a family.”

  Holly turned away. “The two of you with your mother, his grandmother, are a family. I’ll be back to check on him tomorrow, after we start backing off on his medications.”

  He didn’t want her to leave. Not like this. Not with so much left unsaid between them.

  He loved her. He needed to tell her how much he loved her. How much he needed her support to get through this crisis with JT.

  How much he needed her to believe in him, when he hadn’t believed in himself.

  But then he remembered Jennifer’s unwillingness to raise JT as her own. Holly had a much better reason to be less than enthusiastic in raising JT as her own. Could he blame her for not wanting to live with the evidence of Tom’s infidelity every day?

  He didn’t try to stop her when she walked away.

  On Monday morning Holly entered the PICU eager to start doing something for JT besides simply waiting. She accessed the computer system and went into JT’s chart, only to discover Jeff had beat her to it, having already written orders cutting the doses of his barbiturates, ketamine and Versed infusions in half.

  A tiny thrill of anticipation shot through her. She and Jeff had discussed their strategy yesterday. First they’d cut the doses in half, and twelve hours later, if he didn’t have any untoward side effects, they’d discontinue the medication completely.

  And hopefully JT would start to wake up.

  He wouldn’t wake up right away, because it would take some time for his body to throw off the effects of the drugs. They’d kept him pretty deep in the coma, knowing he needed time and rest to keep his brain from succumbing to rabies toxicity.

  She hoped their solution had worked.

  After logging off the computer, she stood and warily approached JT’s room. Gabe was there, as usual, seeming to be a permanent fixture at his son’s bedside.r />
  At the doorway, she hesitated, bracing herself to see him. Despite everything that had happened, once the initial sharp piercing pain had receded, she’d found herself thinking about him, replaying their conversation over and over again in her head.

  There was a part of her that wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe he hadn’t lied to her about the past and again now, more recently.

  But trust didn’t come easily. She knew Gabe and his sister had been close. She found it hard to believe Claire hadn’t confided in him, especially knowing she and Tom were to be married. And no matter what Gabe claimed, she knew he must have suspected that JT was really Tom’s child.

  She was finding it difficult to get over the fact he hadn’t told her the minute he’d discovered the results. She’d spent the whole night with him, curled up beside him on the narrow cot beside JT.

  Yet he still hadn’t told her.

  “Good morning.” She kept her greeting polite as she entered the room. “I’m sure you realize by now that Jeff has cut all JT’s medication doses in half.”

  Gabe smiled and nodded. “I wish they were off completely, but I guess we have to wait until later for that.”

  “Yes.” She glanced up at the bedside monitor, frowning a little when she noticed JT’s heart rate had jumped up. “How long has his heart rate been up like that?”

  Gabe’s smile faded. “Must have just happened because ten minutes ago it was hanging in the 118 range.”

  She tried not to show her worry, although this was exactly one of the problems she and Jeff had feared. That JT’s body might react to the withdrawal of the medications. If so, they’d have to back off even more slowly.

  “We may have to go back up on his medication,” Holly warned. “I think we can give him a little time yet, but if his blood pressure drops, we’ll have no choice but to back off.”

  Even as she spoke, JT’s heart rate continued to climb. It started at 132 and pretty soon it was up to 140. When it hit 144 his blood pressure began to drop.